Judy Miller passed away peacefully on Thursday while surrounded by family in Lexington, KY. She is survived by her brother Brian and his wife Anne, her brother Scott and his wife Julie, her son David, his wife Lori, and grandchildren Avery, Drew and Scott, and her son Drew and his wife Leena.
Judy was born to Ralph and Jean Congleton in Denver, CO. She grew up in Lexington, KY and graduated from Henry Clay High School. She attended Hood College before transferring to Temple where she received a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and then her Masters of Education. She taught English in Cherry Hill, NJ and Greensboro, NC until shortly before her son David was born in 1971. I followed in 1972.
Mom went back to work when David and I were in junior high. She worked at National Charities Information Bureau researching and rating charities. She then moved into banking, earning her Certified Financial Planner credential and becoming a CitiGold executive. Later, she would start her own practice as a financial planner, focusing on families preparing to pay for college for their children. She coupled this with consultation on selecting a school, the college application process (great to have a former English teacher giving feedback on those essays!), financial aid applications, and pursuing scholarship opportunities. She also read applications for UC Berkeley to learn the other side of the equation. She moved to Medford, OR in the early 2000s and worked as a real estate agent for several years before retiring.
Mom called David “Tiger” and me “Bear” when we were young. I don’t know the origin of Tiger, but I was born with a full head of hair which made her think “I’m having a bear!” as I was born. It had been years since I heard it but I remember the last time she used it. She visited me in Chicago when I was in my early 20s and attended a softball game of mine. She yelled “way to go Bear!” as I rounded third and came in to score.
Mom did so much to support David and me growing up. A teacher at heart, she always helped with our schoolwork. She was often a lot tougher to please than our teachers! When we put in a pool, she got her lifeguard certification. She shuttled us around to countless after-school activities.
Mom taught us personal finance lessons from an early age. We had our first checking and savings accounts around 4th/5th grade. In 6th/7th grade, we were given a large allowance – over $100/month! But it came with a catch: we had to pay for all of our incidental expenses. Clothes, shoes (sneakers!), haircuts, movies, eating out with our friends, etc. She taught us early how to manage a budget. I saved diligently for almost a year to buy my first set of golf clubs in 8th grade and mom later admitted that it was really hard not to give me the remaining balance after I’d saved for 6+ months. Soon after, she co-signed on our first credit cards, but warned us to pay the balance in full every month. I’ve only failed to do that once in my life. David let me know he’s only failed to do so twice.
Mom loved organizing things and coming up with creative and custom solutions. We didn’t have space for a sewing room growing up so she made an upstairs hallway closet into her sewing “room.” Everything had its place and it unfolded like a Transformers toy. Her brother Brian, an architect, was impressed with the closet and used the ideas in its design later in some of his work. Mom sewed lots of our childhood clothes and came through with some amazing Halloween costumes. She also did plenty of counted cross stitch projects over the years.
We had a 5th-wheel pop-up camper and spent many weekends camping. There was a custom-built chuck box (portable cabinet) with a spot for everything. Meals were premade and vacuum sealed. Some just needed to be dropped into hot water to heat up before serving. Others, like flank steak, came out with an amazing marinade before being cooked on a grill.
While we’re on the topic of food, mom made fruitcakes based on a family recipe every year for the holidays. She mailed them all over the country to family and friends. In college, I learned that fruitcakes are a joke to most people. Like, oh, do you use that as a doorstop? Well, no. These aren’t bricks. They’re super moist. Want to know why? When they were finished, mom wrapped them in bourbon-soaked cheesecloth. There’s bourbon in the recipe too. Pure Kentucky, and no joke. Delicious.
Mom loved paddling and being on the water. We did many canoe trips on the Delaware, Toms River, and the Mullica and Batsto in the Pine Barrens of southern New Jersey. The love of paddling and camping was combined for many overnight canoe-camping trips. Two kids, two adults, food, beverages, a tent, sleeping bags and everything else was packed into a single canoe for the trip. When David and I were old enough – maybe 11 and 12? – we graduated to our own canoe.
While we were young, mom read somewhere that kids who attended summer camp for a month (as opposed to just one or two weeks) were more successful in college. While I can’t speak to the veracity of the claim, I loved the month-long trips to summer camp on Lake Winnepesaukee in New Hampshire. I’m happy to say that college went well for both me and David.
Mom loved remodeling homes and had a keen eye for what a space could become. The most mom remodel project ever was in her Medford home. Sure, she did a large remodel and changed most of the layout of the home in the first year she was there. But this came a few years later. She was never happy with the dining room. She had a large buffet (a piece her father had custom built) and the dining room table and chairs made for a tight squeeze when she had a table full of guests. So she bumped out the dining room wall about two feet (it still fit under the eave of the roof) for a five foot section to better fit the buffet. Even she had to laugh that she spent about $10k to add 10 square feet.
Mom loved dogs and had Sunny then Miska then Lexi. Lexi is now the undisputed leader of the pack (of three dogs!) at her brother Scott’s.
Mom moved back to Lexington in the fall of 2021 and lived in an assisted living facility. They shared with me that over the Holidays they made cards for local hospital patients. The participating residents were given paper and colored markers and glue and glitter and other craft items for the cards along with suggested messages. Mom spent her time helping everyone else make their cards, making sure they knew what to do. She was so busy teaching the class that she didn’t even make her own card! Mom really was a teacher until the end. Thanks Mom.
